Recently, I had the opportunity to attend two events which had a similar focus: forgiveness. One event was a film screening of Fambul Tok, a documentary about an effort in Sierra Leone to bring together perpetrators and their victims in order to not only reconcile the individuals but also the communities they live in. The other event featured a victim of genocidal acts in the Congo, named Rose Mapendo, who in spite of her husband being tortured and executed and herself and her children being starved, tortured and held captive in a death camp, has forgiven the murderers of her husband and her captors. So, this is not forgiving a lie, nor is it forgiving a theft or a cheat, but this is forgiving the worst kind of wrong.
Since the events I've spoken with a few others who also attended. Many of these people said that there is no way they could forgive these type of crimes. They said this with strong conviction. Not only would their be no forgiveness on their part, but there should be no forgiveness from anyone for these horrible crimes.
And I understand their position. I do.
Murder deserves no forgiveness. Rape deserves no forgiveness. Tearing an infant from his mother deserves no forgiveness.
I thank God that I do not have to forgive something so horrible; to forgive something like the murder of a loved one is inconceivable. However, I know, that if my life was ripped apart by such atrocities I would have to find a to forgive the perpetrators rigardless of my pain and loss.
When Rose spoke, she said that, "when we forgive, we forgive for ourselves." And it is true. Often, a perpetrator of such horrible acts is so cold that they do not care if they are forgiven by their victim, let alone by God. But what happens when we hold on to that unforgiveness? I happen to think, that in whatever space in our hearts that unforgiveness remains, it turns into regret, anger or hate. These cannot coexist with true happiness. True peace cannot live side by side with anger and hate.
So...real forgiveness is a gift. Being able to offer forgiveness for any wrong is a gift from God. Where else does true grace come from? And when we are the wrong-doers, being offered forgiveness from the one we've wronged is a gift like no other. Forgiveness leads to more gifts: peace, healing and real happiness.
